Poetry for the Soul

I thought love might save me

I thought you could heal me
But you overthink
And I can’t feel
It’s not aloud
Your chatter is for the crows
Anchor and bow
Drifting because you don’t hold me
Sadness thing
Knowing I have loved you
It wasn’t enough
Life is tough
Move on
That’s what my heart tells me

Let it go
Let it be
I did my best
I have loved you

Let it go
Let it be
My heart belong to me
Now that you release me
Now that I am carefree

Waiting for you to appreciate me
Is waiting for a hawk to paint pink
I know you tried
But your mind steals your heart
You want to hold me now that I am numb
What a ashame
Your heart was screaming for you to change
Go with the ego
It’s better because it makes you safe
But love doesn’t work like that

(Chorus)

We couldn’t been forever
I don’t blame you
I don’t close off me
It’s just timing
You wait until it’s too late
Your heart is slow
I nurtured you oh so lovingly
But I can’t be unrequited
I can’t be a rose drained by the lack
Lack of balance
Give me fairness
I want to receive
But you don’t know how to give
I thought I might teach you
I thought I could show you
Love
Friendly love
Soulful love
I did my best

Lover, Where Do You Live

Lover, I sense the image of you
Maybe it’s another lifetime of you
I have these feelings
And they are deep
I will swim
I will listen to ocean waves
Within me is a womb like a nebula
It is vast and mysterious
It is what’s left of death
Decomposition and basic atoms spin
Jazzing colors rearrange to tell a new story
Is that workings of love?
If love is a grand universe always echoing symphonies once played and one day to play,
I must be somewhere in-between it all
Maybe I am a cauldron birthing new versions
Always refining
Even in the decline
Even with the absence of what I am feeling
Lover, could you be a teacher?
I look to the owls at night
I only find them when I’m quiet, still long enough for the night to open its secrets
I yearn to know hidden songs of the birds
When mind merges with heart
I watch a lotus emerge from water
I taste soil in flowing rain
Minerals keep turning death into nourishment
When the world is cloaked in toxicity
How will I know this feeling?
It was a bad idea to ignore and deny this feeling
It caged the bird and now she doesn’t sing
Lover, maybe you could show me
How to make a nest
I forget
Nobody taught me
I see luminous vivid colors but I think too much
I judge every pattern I make and don’t make
Maybe I could just be content with the hummingbird sucking on a flower
Maybe I could wander with whales
I will find laylines and grids
And they will take me to this feeling
There is meaning and the clouds give glimpses

In the darkest hour,
A winter solstice
A powerful ending
A dramatic death
A Dark Night of the Soul
Courageous leaps into the Great Mystery
Are the beacon, lighthouse, torch
A time capsule persists
It consists of pure vibrant energy
Celestial and regal
Full of resilient and loving intention
It’s like fabric, color and sound that can be fashioned into anything
A gown
A shoe
A song
A glove
A hat
Reminding us that within each of us is an indigenous mother who died for millions of years to reorganize her energy into something new
When the black of empty space between stars is too long, too empty, too intense, too overpowering
There are invisible threads of light that can be felt
They exist in the abyss and great void
Even in a black hole,
There are threads of light bridging the infinite
Sometimes it’s like climbing a mountain or crossing a valley
Sometimes it’s like jumping into a river that carries you away
When the Winter Solstice begins the snow
I hold onto a thread of light
It reaches the sleeping soil
It reaches a stretching tree
It reaches a nesting beaver
It reaches the burrowing mole
It reaches the humming alpaca
It reaches Alpha Centauri
I can’t see it
But we humans can only see one tenth of the spectrum of light
It’s a knowing that when it all comes down
And some are raging at the dying of the light as it tries to conquer the mind,
There is a beating heart that survives
There is a wolf who found a way
By following threads of light,
We’re able to be a phoenix, something mystical and mysterious and yet very real inside a magical creature that threads energies like a musician plays strings on an instrument

Why is there much divorce?

Human beings are growing
But we like our control
Control is a way for us to have safety and comfort
We all sense our ancestral chaos
Those wandering souls trying to find a haven, a refuge, a new land that supports growth instead of stifles it
When things are out of control like the Great Mystery and it’s dance with the Earth, we cling to control out of survival of the fittest
We think control makes us fit
Trees appear unmoved
They are more supple then we know
They dance with the wind and change of season
We cannot dance with a stiff body
We cannot truly love ridged and stoic
When a bough isn’t agile it breaks
It cracks and falls away
Sometimes it must
In conditional love, we require each other to be the same always
To be the consistent provider of our present happiness
People evolve
One day a city lawyer may decide to be a painter and move to Italy to live on an orchard
We still grow like children and they outgrow their clothing all the time without complaint or fear of new growth
Unconditional love requires a spiritual heart, a soulful understanding that many times growth is beyond this world and our worldly beliefs
We join our hearts together for an awakening, for closeness with the divine, to remember our connection to all
We yearn to merge with sincere love that can love us and let us go
We also yearn for freedom
To know our creative potential like the Upanishads found a way to the heart from Earth to the sun to the darkness of closed eyes where a spark of light appears and then vibrates the cosmos all inside the amphitheater of our physical heart
It’s gorgeous and yet inaccessible without roots to the Earth and love for the stars
If a loving relationship is to last it must undergo seasons of change
And that requires a supple heart, an agile mind and a willingness to embrace the Great Mystery instead of control it by forcing growth to be what we envision
Our wildest fantasy is nothing compared to the Great Mysteries’ lovely vision for our radiant temporary play with Earth
Freedom in love is understanding that we are enough, whole and complete now as a single man or woman with a creative caliber to the stars
Romantic or friendship love is experiencing the awe amazing beauty of a mind and body fully nourished by the energies that connect us together like a symphony
All for the forever desire to be extensions of each other like a cello is to a violin and piano is to a harp
We all are different and yet we’re all little pieces of each other
Like stars
Our single star in this solar system
Is connected and a part of every star in the entire universe
When love breaks off like a bough to a tree
Or skin to a snake
Or coat to a Buffalo
It is a reminder that sometimes in order to grow we must let go
And like children in school, Earth is a school
Entering 14th grade may turn us into a wolf
When we’re so used to be an owl
I think that’s why all animals respect each other
Because deep down they know they eventually will all be each other
So there is no need to fear letting go
Our greatest fear in letting go
Is the anger and resentment
The feeling of failure
We make mistakes
Sometimes it’s a bitter end
We go to the Earth and burry ourselves in soil like Native American people do to remind themselves “life isn’t easy but you are loved” (A Boy, A Mole, A Fox and A Horse)

How to get into the heart

The polarizing world manifests from the brain
The heart is not polarized
A world build from the heart seems otherworldly, foreign and science fiction
Some of us indigenous people know the other side and have passed down teachings on how to get back to that side, the heart side
A woman is a kind of portal key to this reality
In her mitochondria are threads of light Dream weaving majestic realities that are not too far fetch
The threads of light became tangled and broken for women could not properly love each other in a world separating woman from her creative sophistication
There are many philosophies around how to achieve the heart
All require courage and understanding
It’s never easy to be in the heart at times on the planet at low
And much easier on a the planet at high
In the 26,000 year planetary precession that maps out golden ages and dark ages and spaces between
It’s a great victory to be in the heart in times when the world is at a low - low meaning diversity is discouraged and connectivity of all things is atrophied
Lucky we are heading out of whimsical whoa intoxicating us with ignorant likely and disliking
A teacher once said, “sometimes in order to enter the heart you must go through the male to get to the female”
Meaning we learn geometry of the path before we trust the female way which is to imagine without needing know and it happens
Here is a simple practicing of the heart…

Close the eyes
Be in total darkness
Use a soft eye covering
In blackness, ask for light
Colorful dynamic light appears
Then sense vibration of the Earth
Connect to the Earth using imagination
Sense closely to the vibration of the Earth as it takes you to the sun
Now sense the solar vibration which encompasses the entire universe
Then bring it into your heart
Sense the vibration of a speck of light at the physical heart
It is your unique soul’s signature
It is your Rosicrucian godhead symbol as Rudolf Steiner would sense
Where microcosm and macrocosm join like a symphony of sound merging into one sound, a sweet harmony

We search for this harmony
And our center wanders
Sometimes it’s in our brain
Sometimes at the heart
Sometimes elsewhere
Like the Earth
Her magnetism is wandering right now
Some scientists believe the poles are adjusting
What that means for us
Under guidance of the Mayans,
We must allow the mystery to transform us
Like a caterpillar in a cocoon losses it’s shape to take on another